Beyond the Score: The Impact of Expectation on Perception
I'm not a person who naturally enjoys musicals just for being musicals. I’ve conducted a ton of them and have some that are at the top of my favorites list, but I'm not prone to spending money on a ticket just to say I went to a musical. It’s just not my thing.
I’ll never forget the time my in-laws bought us tickets to see Wicked in Dallas. My wife was excited, but I was not. At that time, I felt like all musicals were essentially the same. I had low expectations and a bad attitude about it every step of the way.
Boy, was I wrong! What an incredible production. It's easily in my top five now!
This experience taught me a valuable lesson: expectations impact our perceptions of the world around us. When we choose to expect the best, it can propel us toward a positive outlook even in the midst of challenging circumstances. But what happens when we allow those expectations to drift into negativity?
The Danger of Negative Expectations in Leadership
Negative expectations act like a filter, causing us to see what we anticipate rather than what is actually there. When we expect people to be difficult, unproductive, or untrustworthy, our perception of their actions is skewed to confirm that belief, leading to a self-fulfilling prophecy. This hurts our ability to lead because it prevents us from seeing the full potential of our team members. It also makes us quick to pass judgment, creating a climate of distrust that stifles collaboration and innovation.
Negative expectations of others limit the scope of our leadership because judgment creates distance with others. Assumptions about others create barriers—assumptions that might or might not be true. Left unattended, those assumptions can cause leaders to jump to conclusions.
The result? When others inadvertently violate one of our unspoken values, we can find ourselves triggered. Anger, frustration, or anxiety results, and the barrier becomes even wider, the relationship even more distant.
Let me give you an example. You have a team member who is regularly late to meetings. They are a bit quirky, so their response to your crucial confrontation with them is nonchalant. Your Fundamental Attribution Error kicks in, and you determine it is a character flaw. They don’t respect authority. They don’t care about the team. Now every time something quirky happens, you get triggered because your FAE has told you that it is a violation of your values of respect and commitment. You become frustrated. That frustration leads to feelings of anxiousness when it comes to having to confront them about being late the next time. And that anxiety leads to you becoming angry about the entire situation!
Never mind the fact that they have a new baby at home with a nanny who keeps showing up late for their shift. And they were just afraid to tell you about it because you seem angry at them all the time.
Yeah—real-life example there. I’ve lived that one.
Getting Past Your Perceptions to Connect
When you catch yourself starting to judge others over a values violation, slow down. Don’t get pulled offsides. Take time to reflect and name the judgment. Write it down. Flex your self-awareness muscle so FAE doesn’t get a hold of you. When you get wound up, it takes time and effort to unwind. It isn’t about compromising your values; it’s about getting past your responses to connect with others.
Don’t let your negative expectations impact your perceptions of others.
Come to think of it, that is the entire point of Wicked! I guess I learned two lessons from that experience. Maybe I like musicals better than I thought I did after all. 🙂
Next week, we'll take a look at how judgment biases can limit the scope of our leadership.
Until our next rehearsal.
P.S. If you’re rethinking how you lead, LET’S TAKE IT FROM THE TOP explores this idea more fully. You can read more about it at www.petehazzard.com.