Beyond the Score: Building Your Gratitude Muscle
Last week, we watched the Joker's entire plan collapse in The Dark Knight because both ferry boats refused to play his sadistic Catch-22 game. That refusal—that fundamental defiance of the binary trap—is exactly the mindset we need as leaders. We often find ourselves paralyzed by anxiety, perceiving that we can only be acted upon. Like Captain Kirk facing the no-win Kobayashi Maru test, we have to “reprogram the computer”.
The truth is, we only feel helpless when exhaustion clouds our judgment. When we are running on fumes, we lose the clarity needed to see that third option. Much of this depletion comes from a deep imbalance of give and take. As leaders who genuinely care, it is all too easy to become the Energizer Bunny—doing too much doing and not enough receiving.
As a teacher and active member of my church, I know this cycle well. I want to serve and make a demonstrative impact, and I can keep pushing until my resources are completely depleted. Even good work done excessively can lead to bad results. We simply are not made to be left "on" 24/7.
When this imbalance occurs, the best thing you can do is slow down the output and intentionally focus on the input. The most powerful way I've found to reprogram my perspective and step outside the anxiety trap is by building my gratitude muscles.
The Energizing List
Just as the Energizer Bunny relies on a battery, we have to know what truly gives us life. What are the sources of energy that fill your personal reserve rather than draining it? I am talking about the people, places, and activities that make you genuinely appreciative of being alive. This is your personal Input Inventory:
People: Who invigorates you? Write down the names of those who leave you feeling loved, appreciated, and more energized after an interaction.
Places: Where do you find peace? Name the specific locations that allow your mind to slow down.
Activities: What are the life-giving hobbies or practices that never feel like a chore?
It is amazing how a simple, intentional input—like a good cup of coffee, the Kind of Blue album by Miles Davis on my headphones, or reading God’s word—can recalibrate an entire day. Time spent with my children, for example, never feels like an output; it’s pure, foundational bliss.
Your personal energizing list should include the people, places, and activities that intentionally bring you joy. So, grab a piece of paper, make three columns, and start writing them down!
An Attitude of Gratitude
Why does this intentional focus on gratitude work? Because it literally reprograms your mind out of the scarcity and anxiety loop.
The simple act of writing down things you are grateful for—even just once a week—actively shifts your cognitive frame of reference and provides a measurable physiological benefit. Emmons and McCullough (2003) found that,"...a weekly benefit listing was associated with more positive and optimistic appraisals of one's life, more time spent exercising, and fewer reported physical symptoms.”
By deliberately practicing gratitude, you aren't just feeling good; you are scientifically altering the way you appraise stress. You are reprogramming your internal computer to see the alternative solutions and refuse the binary trap of only seeing things as either good or bad.
Then, take intentional action! Build the habit of writing down your gratitude list as part of your daily or weekly shutdown routine, and then get the energizing people, places, and activities from your Input Inventory onto your schedule this week. Remember: what gets calendared gets done!
That commitment to input is the beginning of intentionally refusing the binary mindset.
Leadership anxiety often isn’t about poor decision-making—it’s about depletion. The IN TONE Leadership framework helps leaders recognize when they’re running on fumes and intentionally restore clarity through healthier rhythms of input and output.
These ideas are explored more deeply in IN TONE Leadership, with practical reflections in Let’s Take It From the Top and Gotta Get Back in Time—resources designed to help leaders reprogram no-win thinking and lead with renewed intention.
Next week we will take a look at how we can intentionally get better at working with others - especially those that can sometimes be difficult.
See you at the next rehearsal!